I am exhausted these days!
I've just started my new job as an RN at El Camino Hospital. I love my unit, literally every staff member I've met is nice and helpful, AND I'm making moolah again. However, I come home every afternoon completely wiped out. Right now I'm training on day shift (0700-1530) and in a few weeks I'll switch to my regular night shift (2300-0730). Everything is going very well, but it feels like everyday I'm bombarded with at least 50 new things to remember while trying to get back into nurse mode after an 8 month hiatus from bedside nursing. It is physically and mentally exhausting; feeling the persistent nervousness that goes along with knowing how easy it would be to make a mistake and potentially hurt my patients. Let alone remembering multiple things at 1 time.
I saw an episode of Nurse Jackie (such a good show, check it out on Showtime if you have the network otherwise I found it online for free-shhhh) where the student nurse shadowing Nurse Jackie says "I got into nursing because I wanted to help people, but I feel like I'm just slowing you down." That statement hits close to home- it was the way I felt throughout my clinical rotations and I've experienced it intermittently during my training. But I have to admit that every day I learn a little more, each day I can do a new task independently, and with every shift I gain more confidence.
Nurse Jackie responded to the student nurse by saying "This job is wading through a s*** storm of people on the very worst day of their lives. The fact that you care puts you way ahead of hundreds of other people. So go cry in the bathroom if you have to, but you're doing fine."
I haven't had any breakdowns yet (I'm not counting the breakdown I had at home because that wasn't during work). Let's just hope none of my patients go into VFib or anything...at least not for a couple of weeks.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
I'm so glad to hear you are enjoying your work. I've been wondering how things were going but I figured you were probably exhausted/busy working so I didn't want to bother you...it sounds like you're still managing to keep a good perspective. I can't wait to hear your stories in a couple months when we're carpooling again.
ReplyDeleteHang in there! It sounds like you're doing great! You're already doing way better than what some of our profs said would happen - wanting to bawl everyday. Good for you for staying strong and positive! I can't tell you how much hope you sharing your experience gives me when I think about starting my future first nursing job. Thanks for sharing your story and I look forward to hearing about your progress! I can see it will be speedy progress!
ReplyDeleteproud of you grace :)
ReplyDelete